The Trouble with Indian Matrimony: Matchmaker, Make me a Match!

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Netflix series Indian Matchmaking is this year’s scariest horror story about arranged marriages

Analysis by S. Mitra Kalita , CNN. Chat with us in Facebook Messenger. Find out what’s happening in the world as it unfolds. More Videos Why the Netflix show ‘Indian Matchmaking‘ is causing a stir.

Soon a divorce firm opens across the street from her office, threatening the matchmaking service. The divorce firm’s owner, Ji Jia-wei (Danson Tang), thinks​.

Indian Matchmaking treads into dangerous territory when it allows Sima Taparia free rein to reinforce regressive methods of Indian matchmaking as undeniable fact. During the episode, Basra explained to Justin how she might have rushed into marriage, in part due to her Indian family pressuring her. How could I ever trust you? How could anyone ever trust you? The idea is very much to translate the aspirations, insecurities, and fixations of a community for a global audience unfamiliar with its beats.

The trouble is, over the course of eight abruptly structured episodes, Indian Matchmaking becomes an infuriating exercise in delusion, ending up doing exactly what it intended to rally against: exoticising a calculated, cultural practice that in reality is steeped in decades of misogyny, casteism, and gender inequality. Her clientele, atleast the ones who feature on the show, seem to be exclusively upper-class and wealthy — a majority of them are in fact, non-resident Indians.

By focusing only on these one-percenters, Indian Matchmaking, at the outset, makes the choice to remain blind to the realities of India, limiting its scope to a version of arranged marriage that is heavily sanitised and often comes with no real repercussions. That in itself is a comically low-stakes predicament in a country where resistance to arranged marriage usually leads to caste-based atrocities, honour killing, and rampant violence against women.

Although, the privilege of her clients imply that she is expensive, the unanswered questions — Does she charge by the hour?

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The number of matrimonial services for divorcees is rising in India and some are fairly unscrupulous, writes Anasuya Basu.

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Whether you subscribe to reduce the year-old manhattanite has its common knowledge that over 20 million of dc matchmaking is hard to date? More information on cnn, with china’s divorce attorney did just get a date?

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The Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia delivers this meme-friendly one-liner in the seventh episode of the hit Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. But she departs from this well-worn model in her attention to one extra characteristic: caste. This silent shadow hangs over every luxurious living room she leads viewers into.

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Follow Us. The controversial Netflix show has reignited debate over traditional marriage matches, but without interrogating harmful stereotypes, says Meehika Barua. One evening in late November when I was heading for a meeting in Holborn, my Indian friend, who is 25, texted me to say that she was getting married.

Trains went by as I stood at London Bridge station, typing furiously, glaring at my phone. The arranged marriage had been fixed up by her parents. She had met the guy, liked him, and so, they agreed to get married. Instead of congratulating her, I tried to counsel her. Read More. This exchange will be familiar to a lot of Indian women.

And now, thanks to the Netflix reality show, Indian Matchmaking , to a lot more people, too.

Glimpse at Indian matchmaking in the real world

The show follows the journey of a Mumbai-based matchmaker who arranges marriage alliances between wealthy families in India and the US. What is disconcerting is not simply the easy acceptance of social conservatism by the young and elderly, not the least by Indian diaspora in the United States. What stands out for Indians is the importance of marital status. Arranged marriages, the norm in India, are tightly bound within the caste of the bride and groom. In crude forms like matrimonial websites, caste preferences are the main criteria, followed by physical appearance and salary potential.

In covert forms, even individuals who choose their own partners, tend to self-censor their options within their own community and class.

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T: GosperSarah. You are free to republish this article both online and in print. We ask that you follow some simple guidelines. Please do not edit the piece, ensure that you attribute the author, their institute, and mention that the article was originally published on BroadAgenda. Marriage is still considered the bedrock of Chinese society. But evolving expectations and a rise in the age of wedlock is resulting in a booming matchmaking ‘industry’ – a place for parents to debate and decry the social contradictions that confront them in a rapidly changing culture.

While not expecting many customers, Wang was surprised by the end of the day at how many parents came seeking her services. The matchmaking corner at Revolution Park is well known to locals. It is held every Wednesday and Sunday and is a site devoted to matching unmarried women and men. Few parents admit that they actually believe in this method of matchmaking and the success rate is incredibly low. For the older generation, marriage is still considered the bedrock of Chinese society.

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The show has received much criticism for glorifying arranged marriages — a tradition that feeds off regressive stereotypes about genders, caste and class. While the challenges of single-hood resonated with a lot of privileged, mostly savarna Indian women and some men, it was pointed out that the labelling and sorting process of humans involved in the show glorifies deeply regressive traditions Indian women have fought hard against, and some are still unable to stand up to.

Several Dalit writers and activists pointed out that the outrage over Indian Matchmaking from dominant caste circles revealed a deep lack of selfwareness as their own social interactions were also deeply rooted in caste, which relentlessly otherises oppressed castes.

Indian Matchmaking also touches on stigmas surrounding divorcees, such as the truly lovely year-old single mom Rupam or Indo-Guyanese.

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Meeting these people first and foremost should give you the best chance possible of a long and happy future together, though you can search out additional profiles using our ‘Have you met Intelligent, mature and — very often — divorced singles make use of our service to find long-lasting love. With a wide diversity of careers, our members also tend to be professional singles , trying to find committed love alongside leading a busy and successful career.

Dating after divorce comes with its own challenges. This is fruitless.

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Your spouse is just a set of qualifications to finally one-up your neighbours or your rival at work. Stagnant social mobility, casteist educational institutions and economic inequality glom together to create families, neighbourhoods, schools, colleges and work places where everyone has similar incomes and wealth, lifestyles, intellectual interests and ambitions. In other words, the metrics of compatibility all conspire towards upholding oppressive structures.

Sima Taparia in a still from ‘Indian Matchmaking‘. Rupam, a divorced single mom, is effectively told her child (the very daughter she wants to.

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